he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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