Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
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Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
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i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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