I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
