I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
All the doctor said was why
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
