wat bout pragnant strippers??
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
