It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
