I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
