I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
