Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
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