Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
