I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
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I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
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Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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