i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
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