we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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