He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize