Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
