office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
