You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
