Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
