Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
