Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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