New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
