If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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