I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
