"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
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