Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
