she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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