im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
