everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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