marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
