I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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