I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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