p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
