You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
