You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
