I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
