Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
