I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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