my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
