I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
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My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
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Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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