gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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