I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Randomize
