new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
third nipple confirmed
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize