i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
