we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize