If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
