You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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