Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Alive.
So much puke
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
