my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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