2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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