Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
