i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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