hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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