There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
