i would punch a child for taco bell
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
