like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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