why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
