He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
