Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
birth control should be required to get into college
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
