u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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