I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
either way he was missing a nipple.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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