If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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