Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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