Got a toothbrush?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
