im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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